Susan's Story

This is the story of one person’s journey with the Higher Self information… in her own words edited solely for privacy matters…. Susan discovered the Higher Self information in May of 2011 and shared her process with me through email updates. She has given me her permission to put her story on my website to inspire and motivate others. And I deeply appreciate her great generosity!


I want to let you know that today I happily received your book, "CHOICES" and the Joan Culpepper CD I ordered. Also, I want to share with you my experiences since discovering your website just last week.

I began reading material on your website and listening to your archived radio programs right away. I am not an impulsive person, though I do follow my intuition. I noticed immediately that there is something about your presence and about the Higher Selves approach that spoke to me; it is reasonable, non-dogmatic, and stimulated a feeling of familiarity in me. Some of it reminded me of what happens with bodywork such as massage and acupuncture; the energy is moved in a healing manner. Clearly the Higher Selves approach is more powerful, infinitely so, because of the conscious Amalgamation with divinity, and the conscious directing of divine energy during the meditation. And - important to me - that the energy is visualized and experienced as LIGHT.

I won't go into a long explanation of my spiritual work in the past on myself/with myself, but the idea that we are a point of Pure Soul Essence, part of the Divine All There Is - I had already accepted and worked with this.  

Last night I tuned into your radio show of 3/10. The meditations were powerful. (From the first one last week, I experienced shifts in my energy during the meditation). After the meditations last night I couldn't sleep; my mind and body were restless. I didn't fall asleep until after 4 a.m. I woke up at 11 a.m. feeling happy, content and fulfilled. My dreams had been peaceful and gratifying. Whatever I had felt was unresolved the night before was resolved when I woke up. I went on to have a day in which everything flowed; I completed all my tasks on time at work; my meetings were excellent; everyone was saying yes to me, yes to my highest hopes. I went to a meeting after work of the woman's club I am an officer in, and experienced ease and contentment and love for my fellow members (not my normal frustration and impatience).


I finished your book, thanks so much for writing it. I am also very glad to have your radio show - my experience hearing you elaborate on points, and doing the conscious meditations, contributed to my understanding as I read. If you don't mind, I'd like to give you a brief update on my experiences with Higher Self Voice.

1. One night, after listening to your radio show & doing the Conscious Meditations, I had the experience of being able to see my room with my eyes closed - as if my eyes were open. For a minute I thought I was just remembering what my room looked like, but no, I was seeing it through closed eyelids. When I realized what was happening, in imagination I moved myself around various rooms inside my condo just to be able to use this "seeing." Then, I had the idea to utilize whatever this power was in one of my favorite visualizations re: my ideal life. This was amazing because I felt that I was physically inside what I was visualizing.
2. Another meditation re: material balance had me weeping as I clearly recalled Thought Forms and emotions linked to material imbalance, phrases my parents said to me when I was growing up, and emotions about why I could not be allowed to be comfortable, etc. To have this clear recall helped tremendously during the neutralization, as I could be very specific about what Thought Forms and emotions (and their tone and weight) I was rooting out and Neutralizing. (I really like the whole 'Earth as the planet of material balance and material good' thing).

Generally, I am doing Conscious Meditation at least once a day, and am feeling like normal me, but light and joyous underneath everything.


I am listening to The Soul/Mind Detox Part 3 on the podcasts and think I am learning why I've had certain symptoms recently. All medical and lab tests show I'm healthy. (And I am!) Perhaps I am experiencing the cleansing purifying phase you discuss. I wonder if this is also related to the intensity of my spiritual practice during this time.


For the first time tonight, I projected into the Creative Body along with the Conscious Meditation you led on a podcast. It took me several times listening to get this process, and the first times I listened I felt afraid to go into the Creative Body. When I did it, the feeling and experience was subtle, but very powerful; I had vivid, surprising pictures and scenarios and underwent qualitative energy shifts both in Neutralizing and empowering. I couldn't have predicted what I saw or felt. (I am writing a description of what happened for myself, and will be doing this mediation again).

I am doing the Conscious Meditation every day. I do it before I get out of bed in the morning. My workdays have been very full and very smooth and successful. I believe this is because I am amalgamating at the start of my day and working throughout the day to focus on my Pure Soul Essence. I also do special meditations to empower divine energies within me that support my ideal life as a full-time (best-selling) novelist. I've dedicated my weekends to working on my current book and already inhabit this ideal life. (I joke with friends that I've wiped out my social life, but my book comes first with me and the investment I am making into the art of it I know pays off).

PS. I meant to thank you for your last two radio programs. I listened to them on the archive and have been using the Rainbow Bridge, especially for healing and Neutralizing for my son, and others.


Also wanted to let you know that when I do the Amalgamation, as soon as I am one with Originating Source, I feel my energy shift inside, almost a click or as a physical mass moving.


I am Amalgamating/Neutralizing/empowering everyday. For me, that is a complete Conscious Meditation. I do it in the mornings before getting out of bed. (I attempt it before I go to sleep at night, too, but usually fall asleep before completing - although it's a wonderful, cleansing way to fall asleep).

A few things that have happened recently since I met you and began this practice in May:
1) Everything at work is going so smoothly.
2) An acquaintance recently offered me a stay at her place in the [mountains]. She knows I'm working on a novel, and at the end of our meeting said, Maybe you'd like a retreat at my place, etc. This coincides perfectly with my plans to complete this revision of my novel.
3) Another acquaintance (a distinguished poet and professor) read my poetry book and emailed me to send him 3-5 unpublished poems fast! After I sent them, he chose one to publish in the respected literary journal he edits. This was a complete surprise; I hadn't expected to publish any more poems.
4) Not only is the revision of my novel moving apace, but also I recently had the opening lines of my NEXT novel appear to me, as well as the final scene.


Another little report: on the weekend I did a lot of meditating (Amalgamating, Neutralizing, empowering my ideal life) after my working sessions on my novel. One night I had a big session during a hot bath. I did have a headache for a couple of days and I was thinking that I must have eliminated a lot of toxic energy and patterns. I definitely need to sleep a lot, but things in the outer world are definitely going my way.


I thought I'd tell you that I'm going through something now. For the last few days, I've meditated fewer times because I seem filled with a roiling energy that is weighing me down. I'm aware that something is going on with me. It feels like getting ready for birth, not pleasant to experience, but some impending outcome of good is preparing itself. I'm taking today and Monday off as sick days because I need to sleep and go underground. Last night, I did the healing Rainbow Bridge meditation with you on your most recent radio show and it was very powerful. Today, I'm sluggish and not sure I'll make it out of the house to do errands. One thing that's interesting is that within me, I feel light and free. I don't have the old anxiety I used to when I wake up in the morning. But there's a force within me and around me now I'm surrendering to.

Later on 6/24/11
I overcame my sluggishness and went out to walk and to do my errands. It was a glorious afternoon, my body was so happy to be moving, I sang to myself and spent all afternoon shopping and taking care of things I needed to do. I even unexpectedly found something I really needed and was able to purchase it at a rock-bottom sale price before it went up tomorrow.  Tonight, I'll have some fun and take one of my famous long hot soaks in the tub.


Last night (in the tub) I did a big mediation, Amalgamating, Neutralizing a lot using the pup tent symbol, and empowering and bringing in Divine energies. At work today I was almost goofy with feeling free and happy; it was like the feeling I get when I am on vacation, or have a few days off, that feeling of being liberated and free to do what I want. I'm not sure I ever had that feeling at work before! All my encounters with co-workers and other people were very pleasant, I had a long phone talk with my sister that was full of laughter; it's as if a sediment of anger and anxiety that I used to bring to work has been cleaned out. I have to admit that I wasn't very productive and didn't have that push and drive to get through tasks, but I didn't have so much on my to do list and knew I was just fine on all my deadlines. Also, while I lay in the after glow of the meditation I had a flash, a vision of what I instantly knew was my intended beloved or mate. Saw him sitting there in my imagination. I was surprised because I am not looking for anyone.


I've begun to see that my natural rhythm is to do my deep healings/conscious meditations every other day, more or less, even though I Amalgamate at some point (often several times) every day. The healing you did with Helena on your recent radio show is so thorough, the Neutralization calls out everything, the use of the diamond and the Rainbow Bridge are powerful, and your spoken words are inspiring. I find myself going back to this particular meditation regularly.

When I'm doing the meditation I always feel a real, palpable shifting around of energy. Once, when I allowed the Neutralized energy forms to transmute into white light and enter the white light of my Pure Soul Essence I "saw" through the eyelids of my closed eyes a huge explosion of light, and I felt it strongly enter me. Neutralizing has left me feeling lighter, physically and emotionally.

I've been able to finish the current draft of the manuscript of my novel. I posted my progress on my FB page, and a respected cultural figure (who is an acquaintance of mine) sent me a message offering to be one of my readers! Generally, I've been feeling as a result of this work that everything is going my way.


The other interesting thing is that I only slept about three hours last night because I woke up with my mind seeing these really favorable scenarios and whole sentences for my novel and I was compelled to get up and do some writing!


Last night I could only listen to half of your radio show online because I kept getting an error message, so I left it alone, and tonight was able to hear it through to the end including your announcement re: "Susan's Story" and I was excited - I'm curious about how people will respond - and now I can see my own experiences in a new context.

I have been thinking the last few days about how at work everything has been going my way, lots of good projects are developing and some surprising favorable events have occurred. My old sense of resistance, my critical attitude toward others has really fallen away, except for rare instances, and it hit me that this change in myself is a result of my Conscious Meditations. This change in me - I'm becoming more mellow and focused on what's important (and not other people who won't do what I want them to do!) - is manifesting in the physical world in the form of positive outcomes. Also, I just have a steady sense of well being, feeling attractive and confident. Hmmm...


I've been thinking that I was introduced through Vaishali's newsletter to you and the Higher Selves Voices a bit more than two months ago, around May 5. Since then, I've listened regularly to your radio show and past Meetups, read your book, CHOICES, communicated with you, and, importantly, done my Conscious Meditations several times a week. If I were to summarize the experience over this period I would say that it's resulted in these main things:

1) A sense of lightness in me, in my body, and a lifting of many difficult emotions. I awaken in the mornings at peace. Even when I experience anger, frustration or fear, for instance, these are less dense than before and I have tools for dealing with them from allowing them to roll through my body and not damming them up, Neutralizing in Conscious Meditation and the famous letting them dissipate through my crown chakra.

2) Everything is going my way. At work, in traffic, in making plans and dealing with people I am experiencing a universal "YES" in response to myself. I realize that something is transforming within me to create outer circumstances that support my desires and good impulses. It is as if some power, as the Biblical book of Isaiah says, is going before me and making "the crooked places straight."

3) I feel as if after all my spiritual learning and involvement, I have the answer to the question of HOW to pray, how to work with Universal Source. I came to the Higher Selves already knowing that I am (we all are) part of Originating Source, and I had experience in meditation and affirmative prayer. With the Conscious Meditation - Amalgamating, Neutralizing, empowering - I have a method for uniting with source and working with that infinite power, the only power there is.

Thank you for being the teacher who made it possible for me to make these discoveries and start on this path two months ago. I really look forward to the next phase, and working with you one-on-one.


Boy, just as I was feeling pretty great about my spiritual work, I had a very, very difficult, sad, frightening, hurtful encounter with my grown son. What's interesting to me is that I did keep saying to myself during his monologue that I am Pure Soul Essence. I must say that he did actually keep his voice and himself under control, unlike previous times. After he left, I worked for a couple of hours with the light in Conscious Meditation. It was hard to focus, given how I was feeling, but I persisted. One thing that worked amazingly well was that I released negative energy through my chakras. For instance, I had a terrible headache and I took a long time releasing the energy through my crown chakra, and it worked. My headache disappeared! I did the same thing where I felt pain, releasing energy through my heart chakra, and root chakra. I did a long Conscious Meditation, putting me and my son in the Healing Circle, Amalgamated, Neutralized and empowered, using Rainbow Bridge energy. I slept very well. Also, my kitchen is cleaner than it has been in months because to distract myself, I cleaned up while he talked, and didn't even realize what I was doing until I was alone later that night!


Thanks so much for your latest radio show, I did the meditation and felt a lot of shifting and change and became very sleepy.  I found the Evolutionary Thrust meditation especially powerfully, that is what is staying with me now. During the exercise, I found myself upon a shimmering deep blue ocean, and the ocean was in me, and I was submerged in it, too. The whole immersion was so refreshing and it caused those internal movements in me.

Wanted to let you know that I did several conscious meditations after talking with you on Monday. By Wednesday, I was feeling physically worse, and realized I had a virus of some sort. It made me achy and my head hurt. At work, I became aware that I was dealing with some frustration at being at work while feeling unwell. Then, I had the idea (from the Higher Selves) that this illness could be a blessing. I have the paid sick leave so I worked with my assistant to take care of all that was essential and informed those who needed to know that I was going home. And as it turns out, I felt well enough to do my writing on my novel at home even today. So now, I am devoted to doing my rewrite for the next three days and I am feeling better and better and better.


I'm re-listening to your tele-classes and thinking about how exciting it was to see my updates on your website. I'm glad I've been communicating with you, at the very least, it creates a record of my experiences and progress. I never go longer than a couple of days without doing my conscious meditations; at this point, I can't even imagine life without the process.

In the past couple of weeks, I have made great strides in the rewrite of my book; seen an increase in my son's well-being; had several creative ideas about furthering my writing life; connected with some great authors; and I've noticed that my bills are in order, and I am able to connect every day more to what my needs are. For example, I used to have the tendency to rush out without breakfast, or feeling properly taken care of in the mornings when I had a morning meeting at work. Now, I'm finding it much easier to slow down, eat breakfast, become centered and I'm still making it to work on time. I realized that I was creating an idea of "time" and the fear that I didn't have enough "time" was something I also manufactured. Also, I've received about $5-6,000 in the past couple of months, which I didn't expect, allowing me to close out some debts.


I think of what you often say, that in a year, those of us who practice this Higher Selves work will have our lives transformed in so many favorable ways. That is part of the reason I began to write you about what I've been experiencing; to record any shifts and changes and have a way of comparing where I was in May of 2011 with where I am in May of 2012!!

One of the surprises of this work is discovering how often I have a negative feeling - such as resentment, hurt, fear - toward a situation or another person.  A lot of times what I thought was a headache or a sore knee is really these unwanted energies circulating within me. What I do now is immediately, or as immediately as possible, Amalgamate and become aware of my Oneness with Originating Source, forcefully release the unwanted energies, neutralize them lovingly with the Light of Pure Soul Essence and bring in Divine energies to empower my ideal life and being.

One major result since my big realization re: having time and doing my Conscious Meditation on time is that this past week, I've had lavish amounts of time and I have followed my own inner promptings re: where I needed to be and when I needed to be there. Two days running I got to meetings across town too early! And I've started to incorporate exercise into my day.


Last night, after my bath and a long, deep Conscious Meditation, Amalgamating, Neutralizing and empowering, I lay on my bed in the dark with the sensation that my body and mind were holding a powerful, steady energy; I had no thoughts, just the feeling of this substance. I got up at six a.m. and walked to my exercise class, and all day long had the sense that something is turning, transforming, and I will see it manifest soon. For the first time since I began this (third) rewrite on my book in July, I realized I could get up in the morning and finish a specific section, which is what I plan to do. I have a strong vision of my ideal life as a best-selling author, and it is occupying more and more actual time and space in my life.


I continue to work with the light. I find that I have three types of meditations, more or less:
1) If I have a headache, or experience some energy, emotional or physical, that is unwanted, such as anger or fear, I treat myself with the light. I Amalgamate and move the light to where I experience the energy physically and it always works! The pain or unwanted feeling dissolves and I transmute it into the white light of Pure Soul Essence.
2) About once a week, I do a major hot bath and wrap myself to sweat and rest afterward, all the while doing a big, deep continuous Amalgamation, Neutralization and empowerment.
3) Nightly, when I go to sleep, I dwell upon my Pure Soul Essence, and circulate it and Amalgamate. I try not to do any energetic work, (I find it too stimulating); I just dwell on the Light of Pure Soul Essence, and it takes me right into a restorative sleep.
Some recent outcomes:
- I'm exercising in the early mornings now several times a week.
- Everything grows increasingly smoother at my job, all my relations are ideal.
- I feel a growing sense of knowing and delight about the success of my novel.
- There is a smoothness and grace to the flow of my days, I'm always on time, meet deadlines easily, take care of bills.
- My thoughts and feelings are positive the majority of the time.


My intuition told me to connect to my son with the Rainbow Bridge energy and employ all the divine tools at my disposal to help him release dark and harmful energies. I also work on my ex, and myself, too. Afterward, I neutralize each of us with the Light and find that the Light strengthens and cleanses. I also put us in the Healing Circle, and see us holding hands, and the Light and divine energies flowing among us. Each healing meditation is different; I follow divine intuition each time, and afterward always feel assured of my son and his father's well-being, and my own.


I wanted to share about my Conscious Meditation tonight.

I experienced a lot of distress at work today, and when I got home and did my Conscious Meditation, invoking the light of my Pure Soul Essence, I could right away feel the energy moving and shifting around in me. During the Neutralization, when I released certain energies, I could feel them leaving my physical and etheric bodies. Some of them made me feel ill as they were released, and those were the ones I worked on releasing the most. By the end of the meditation (which was a long one; I also meditated for others during it), I felt a buoyant, uplifting energy within, and was able to move into a whole new attitude and perspective.

It's hard to communicate the experience of Conscious Meditation, but the energy is real, and the transformations are real, too.



This will be updated from time to time… I want to share this wonderful transformational story with everyone!